That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
