it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
