oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
