Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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