I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
