ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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