u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
