you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize