Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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