Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
