I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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