so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
