he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
