If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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