I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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