we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize