How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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