There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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