i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
