He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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