I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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