haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
