he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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