um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
