Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize