In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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