I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize