Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
