Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
