i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
