Your tits are I can't wait for
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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