So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
