they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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