Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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