I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think my mom watched the whole time
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
