my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
