ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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