i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
this hospital has no fireball
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
