Did you just see the Batmobile???
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
