just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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