At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
