I feel like I'm in dance class right now
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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