I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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