your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize