I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
