I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
