that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
