Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
