Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
