ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
