Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
