suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
