He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How naked do you want me to be?
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