Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
