i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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