ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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