i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
