so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
