new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize