do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Randomize
