Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
