He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
