HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
When are your genitals available?
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