We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
