just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
