I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
