I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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